Posted by
karis
on
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I can't believe that someone can stoop so low, resorting to threatening to ruin my reputation using Facebook. Throughout this whole period, never had I shed a single tear; it just seemed like it had all been used up throughout the years. You asked me, "What does he have that I don't?", well, i can tell you this: I am happier with him, and yes you might put him down with your demeaning words such as "He's still a student, but I'm a working adult" blablabla, but do you really think that money is the answer to everything?
Have you ever thought about the hurt and sorrow I went through when I discovered your affair with Pricillia? You just broke up with me, without any explanation, when i begged you not to leave, you showed no emotions. When I asked you, "Is there someoneone new?", you looked at me with those blank eyes, and I just knew there was someone else. That was the darkest period in my life; I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't think. And where were you? I was like a walking zombie, but you were out there; clubbing, having fun? Two weeks later, you come back and asked me out and pretended nothing ever happened. You told me you only went out for dinner with her and I believed you! I foolishly believed you because I loved you! But as the weeks and months go by, I found out more and more about you; and I felt like I don't know you anymore. A dinner only to comfort her because she just broke up; it turns out more than that. There were the movies you watched with her, the outings with her to East Coast Park, the chocolates you bought her (remember you telling her that chocolates are aphrodisiacs? just the thought of that makes my stomach turn), and you fetching her from work? You telling your friend about her "smooth chocolate skin" and how you "wish I could bring her home" and how hot she is (but the thing is, I think she's not hot at all lol)? And the worst thing that you could ever do to me is, you were still in contact with her after we reconciled. And then the other girl at Attica? What was her name again? Oh and what about those chats on mIRC? Chatting up girls to meet up and possibly do naughty things (though you told me you never did met up with them)?
With every bit of information, bits and pieces of me died. There I was, thinking that, "This is it, this is Mr Right", and me being so naive, thinking that it will be for a lifetime. But I stayed on, thinking that it will all work out, thinking that it is just a one-off incident, thinking that it was my fault that you strayed. I learnt how to put on makeup, how to dress well, became more vain, just to capture your attention. Somewhere along the way, I just became jaded. But I stayed on, partly due to familiarity and also the fact that I owed you far too much and staying by your side was the only way I could repay you. As the days went by, I became more and more lifeless; I was just living a lie, and I felt that I was playing with your feelings as well.
And he came along. He unknowingly made my heart flutter, and as wrong as it sounds, I felt that this is the right time to let go. To you, I'm just a heartless bitch who left you because I've found a replacement. I know it is not done in good taste; that it reflects very badly on myself. But I am sick of living to other peoples' expectations and what others think is right or wrong. Let me do this once for myself, let me be selfish once.